Return to work Friday. Ugh.

NOT happy about going back on Friday. Nothing positive to say about it.

So, the positive right now is that I love my boys and hubby. I also had testing done today for our insurance wellness thing that lowers the cost of our insurance by $130/month, and my good cholesterol and bad cholesteral were great, total of 180. BP was 110/60, and blood sugar was normal. I need to lose this last 35 pounds, but thank goodness that my testing came back so well! I am 2% from being in the moderate BMI range based on their machine, instead of overweight...so I plan on figuring out how the heck to get good exercise in after I return to stupid work. I have been walking so much with Andrew, and at this point, I guess what I will have to do is the BL programs at night after he goes to sleep. Blah! But it must be done, to keep my #'s good as I age, and to get my weight down lower.

Done with Christmas shopping. Got Ev the Red Rider big wheel today. That brings his haul to the little alien from Project 51, a boat from "Santa," 10 hot wheels for his stocking, a pirate Mr. Potato Head, Toy Story camping set (sleeping bag, flashlight, compass, duffel bag), and a Kid Tough Fisher Price digital camera. Picked up a little 3 month+ shaker toy for Andrew so he can have a little wrapped gift from "Santa" as well for Evan to open in his honor. ;)

I MUST get my oil changed tomorrow, as well as smog check, and get to the DMV to get my tags. Thursday I would like to just relax all day. I have a breakfast with girlfriends at 8:30, after that I'd like to come home and relax and watch some movies with Daryl, since he's home from Thurs-New year! I also have to figure out what we are going to pay my friend who is watching Andrew for 42 hours/month...I just have no clue! Hmmmm....

Should start dinner for the boys while Andrew is sleeping in his swing. Bit concerned as Andrew has had a slight cough today, hoping it goes away overnight, if not then tomorrow will start with a visit to urgent care. He is breathing fine, and he had his 4 month appt with his doc yesterday and it went well, so...let's hope it is nothing!

Trying to not wallow in my sadness about returning to work, or about our living situation and how that stress will add to my general miserableness once I return. Argh.

Overall I know I am lucky, but at the same time...some things are pretty painful. :( Meh.

pretty dress...next haircut

Picked up a very cute little black dress with fun, sparkly sequins trimming the hem. It's for my work Christmas party! :) Tomorrow I am going to go get my hair cut. Hoping for a cute bob. It's been 9 months since I last got my hair cut...sheesh! I'm nervous because they never do what I really want no matter where I go it seems. But anything is better than the mess I keep gathering in a ponytail, and clipping my icky, grown out bangs.

Back to work in 17 days.

SO much to get done before 12/18. I feel like that is doomsday, which I realize is ridiculous. SO many people looking for jobs right now, so many without health insurance, and I have both of those. But, I just want so badly to stay home with Andrew. Or well, walk 2-3 hours/day with Andrew, grab a coffee, do the laundry, cook dinner for my boys every night, etc.


My to-do list is insane! I have breakfast with the gals Thursday, Weight watchers Saturday, obnoxious DMV appointment Monday, need to take family Christmas pic for our cards, order those cards, order picture gifts for family for Christmas, get haircut before 12/12, work Christmas party on 12/12, Andrews 4-month well baby appt 12/14, Insurance wellness appointment 12/15 (blood test/weight/etc to lower cost of insurance by setting "health goals"), finalize info on who is taking care of Andrew when I go back to work, get new pics put on digital frame for my desk at work, get gift for gf's 30th bday, Daryl's work Christmas thing (maybe...it is the day I go back to work, so I think I'm skipping it?)

All of this makes me want to run for the nearest pizza buffet. Fighting well so far, have snacked more the last couple of days but still a little down on the scale, and still on control. Have to keep this in check...ugh! Stressed may spell desserts backwards, but that doesn't mean I have to eat them!

-1.2 weigh in

Not bad at all for Thanksgiving week! I ate very healthfully on Turkey day, leaving points for pie of course. ;) Black Friday I ate a bit too much coffee shop junk throughout the day while shopping, but again, yay for a loss at all this week! Onward, downward. :)

Tonight we will be decorating the tree we picked up today, enjoying Christmas music, and snacking (ate light today so I can enjoy cocoa chex mix, sugar cookies, eggnog coffee, and cider. :)). Ev is very excited to decorate, and should be fun to watch. :)

Have to do some more laundry if Andrew will just let me detach him for a moment. Not likely. ;) My little uber-dependent child. <3

Good week...bad vibes

Food/exercise going well. I had a mini-breakdown last night on the way to get Ev from school. Daryl is working the early shift at work because his 4am employee is off, so I am doing the school drop off/pick up this week. Andy was in the back of the car screaming (hates being stopped in the car), and I came to a stop at a looooong red light right in front of my office building. I absolutely do not want to go back to work on Dec. 18th or ever. :(

I was SO close to just going to get fast food with Ev because of the stress and the emotions, but instead, I came home and ate a healthy dinner here. Food isn't my problem food isn't going to solve it.

At the end of the day, this weight, the 35 more pounds at least, that I want to lose, will only come off if I keep that in mind. I absolutely hate the customer service side of my job. I hate answering the phone not knowing if it will be a simple fix or a Business From Hell who will take an hour of my time while whining their asses off and/or calling me names. Same with the awful personal banking calls that get put on us. 90 year old men who curse like sailors and in no way should have a computer. 70 year old women near tears because we changed the wording for personal banking to "personal ONLINE banking" or something like that. Someone who is cussing me out about their stupid bill pay issues, like the fact that they think it's instant pay. Same with a business who thinks they can ACH file $$ to their employees same-day with their online banking instead of needing to leave a 24-48 hour window.

I love data entry. Love quality control. Love running and completing reports. Love training. LOVE my coworkers, LOVE them! HATE CLIENTS!!!!!


Ahhh. Had to get that out. I realize these days I am considered stupid for complaining considering I HAVE a job in the financial industry, but I don't care. I'd rather have the "job" of mom. Barring that, either make me the "paper pusher" of the department, or lay me off. I know that makes me ungrateful, just don't care. My important things right now are my husband, kids, and getting healthier.

Rough day...

Not sure why, but wanted to eat *everything* today! Booo. There are days where the nearly 100 pounds I have lost seem like nothing. I can't slide back...

First weigh in Saturday should shock me into ACTION.

On a plus note, we watched Niko tonight because our friend Maili had class and her usual sitter wasn't available. How fun! He and Evan got along really well, and Niko didn't want to leave when his daddy came for him! He's a year older than Ev, but they get along very well.

Also, I signed up for survey taking sites during this maternity leave, as they seemed like a fun distraction. I have actually been getting some nice samples, but also some full sized items. Today I got the Aquafresh Iso-Active toothpaste. Oh YUM! I have only used it this evening after I flossed, but will use it a few days before typing up my thoughts for the site, www.shespeaks.com. The canister is a bit strange, looks like my husbands shaving foam, but, it left my mouth feeling super clean! I also received coupons for $1 off, so if anyone wants to try it, let me know!

Next to arrive should be Ghirardelli's chocolate and coupons. ;) Temptation, I know.

Okay, going to get the wee boy to sleep and maybe watch the last bit of Biggest Loser. It's hard to believe I was once larger than some of these guys when they started on this thing. Huh.

Re-post Weight Watchers bound!

I made the decision last night to go ahead and join Weight Watchers today instead of waiting until I go back to work. We were thinking financially it would be best to wait, but to be honest we spend the monthly pass fee each weekend on eating out for brunch! And I spend $30/week on Starbucks. So how can I deny myself something HEALTHY that has worked for me in the past?

I'll be weighing in on Saturday mornings, but I'll get reacclimated to the website today. I hope to lose 2 pounds/week until I go back to work, which is totally do-able. That would be 12lbs before Christmas! I will continue walking with Andrew everyday, and have decided that 3x/week I will give Andy over to Daryl, my wonderful hubby, at night after Evan goes to bed, and do the Biggest Loser workouts! Just 30 minutes of me-time, working on being healthier.

There is a long road ahead but this is definitely where I have to begin! :)